all this and Jesus too?

Today i woke up in a bad mood.



well no, i don't even think that i woke up in a bad mood . . . but as i laid there in my warm bed, i began to think about how i didn't want to go to church. it was cloudy, and looked like it would rain . . . and thats what my mood was. dark, and about to unleash its vengence upon the day.


but i decided that i should go to church. strictly out of obedience - because i know that the Lord has been telling me to make more of an effort to get to know people. and with the thoughts that were going through my head . . . i needed some straightening out.



so i stood in front of my closet . . . for a long time . . . not happy with anything i saw. nothing was right. i finally decided on something to wear, and proceeded with my bathroom routine.


wash my face. water was too cold.
do my hair. i need a shower, but there is no time.
makeup. does't help much.
when you're in a bad mood - everything is wrong. you all know what i mean. mr. negative takes a few rounds at you.


i tell you all this to say that my heart was not in the right place as i headed off in "obedience" to church. not a great start to the day, and i knew that i was being ridiculous. i didn't like the way i looked this morning . . . and i was complaining to God, wishing He had given me clearer skin, straighter teeth and just made me prettier.
so i got to church . . . and right away i began to relax. i like my church. today we had this pretty cheesy quartet there . . . but the one guy kept reminding us that we were bought with a price . . .


and i thought how foolish i had been. my focus was sooo off track . . . none of that stuff matters. God looks at the heart . . . i should be more focused on how that looks to Him, instead of how i look to others. and after all He has done for me . . . all i can think about is my skin? come on.


anyways . . . after church i got invited out for lunch. FINALLY. i was wondering when someone would take pity on me haha. i had a wonderful lunch with these two "mature" couples . . . and they were so great. i felt so welcomed, and thanks to my upbringing . . . i didn't feel awkward in making conversation with them. i find it easier to talk with people alot older than me, than with people my own age. i spent the entire afternoon there . . . and left feeling 20 pounds lighter (well not physically because i ate so much . . . but lighter at heart haha)


its funny, because i woke up complaining to God . . . and He blessed me with fellowship. not only that . . . but the two couples mothered me and sent me home with lots of treats. fresh watermelon, cake, chocolate, and blackberries from their backyard.oh baby!

thinking back on the day, I am amazed by the blessings of God despite how far my heart was from Him . . . i am reminded of something i read several years ago.
it was a story about an old centurian who sat down before a meal of bread and water . . . and he prayed "all this, and Jesus too?"

that pretty much sums it up (at least, that is what we should be thinking)