passionate weeping

. . . it's been a while hey?

and much has happened in these past couple of weeks - all of which has put my learning to the test. but that's a good thing right?
at school this past week, they said : "if you don't use what you learn, you won't retain it"
. . . I think its pretty much chiseled into my heart.

well, we finished up Hebrews . . . and these past couple of weeks we studied the book of Jeremiah. wow.
I never knew Jeremiah to be such a passionate book . . . but let me tell you, it brought me to my knees on several occasions. Jeremiah wept for his people -- he saw their sins, their blatant disobedience of God . . . and he knew what the consequences would be, and so he wept.

when was the last time you wept over someone else's sins? . . . that's passion.

God really did some tough work on my heart this week . . . He softened it and brought down the fortresses, until all I could do was weep.

I wept for my people. their sins - and mine.

I wept for the church.

for years I have carried such a bitterness in my heart about the church - not just my church, but the church as a whole. all I saw was a people just like the world, and I wanted no part of it. I felt wronged by them, judged by them - and cheated of a father. I was angry in so many ways that my father allowed himself to be a target for blame, and thus subjecting his family to a life of scrutiny.

but this week, God dealt with my anger head on . . . and i've come out with a new view of the church.

they're people. people in need of a savior - just like the rest of the world. just like me.
and who am I to judge?
all I am called to do is love my Jesus, and then - love my neighbor.
love my church.

they are people - and they need love. and by the grace of God, I am capable of loving them.
I took the time to read lamentations this week - it is written by Jeremiah as well, and let me tell you - its funeral drudge stuff. its downright depressing . . . yet ironically hopeful.
after Jeremiah has wept over the destruction of his people . . . he remembers God's love. and he says this : "His compassions never fail. They are new every morning : great is Your faithfulness."
even when the church is a mess, and even when I'm a mess - God is still faithful, and He always will be.
He will continue to work amidst our failures, amidst our weaknesses - thankfully.

isn't God good?
GOD IS GOOD - ALL THE TIME!